171. Syllabus for Macro Management

Part of the syllabus of Paper V (Macro Management), Time Management Course

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2. Planning for different phases of life. Different phases of life: childhood in assembly line, teenage in hangers, 20s on the runway, take-off at 30s, ascend at 40s, cruising at 50s, descent at 60s, landing at 70s, exhibit for children from 80s. Plane crashes. Missing the flight. What happens during a hijack. Understanding aerodynamics: pressure makes planes fly. Airport hangers and bird cages. On the runway: awareness of the existence of other planes. Learning to scan beyond the clouds while taking off. Ascend: flying high with the seatbelt fastened. Cruising into the sunset. How to chalk out landing plans while taking off and set them in motion while still ascending. Old WWII planes around the world. 

3. Planning ahead. Things to consider: money, lack thereof, family, children, wimpy children, useless grown-up sons and daughters, bank loans, loan retrieval policies of banks (…)

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5. Disruptions and deviations from a planned life. People who were not supposed to die. The meeting you should have attended. The traffic jam that should not have been. The promotion you were supposed to get. The boss who refused to die and burn in hell. The property you should have inherited. The wife who was supposed to be supportive. The husband who was supposed to be a teetotaler. The world that was supposed to understand your struggles.

169. Syllabus for Family Politics

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Family Politics), Family Management Course

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2. Status. Static status and dynamic status. Rise and fall of status within the family. Conduction, convection, radiation and evaporation of status. Family status built upon job, money, property, lineage and connection to political hoodlums.  Self-implied status. (…) Status by marriage. Status difference between father and father-in-law and how to make the most of it.

3. Politics without elections. The concept of decentralized multi-party feudalism. Advantages and disadvantages of seniority. Role of children. Goals of family politics: ego, revenge and justice. Concept of reconciliation. Transient reconciliations. Concept of being angry on someone till they die.

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5. Favours. Trading, selling and accumulating favours. How to take a favour from a family member. Returning a favour. Situations where a return favour is not imperative/not necessary/not important/avoidable/can be ignored. Asking for more favours after not returning previous favours. Reasons people help unworthy family members: sustenance of bloodline, emotional weakness, egoistic pleasure, disposal of black money, peer pressure, social expectations, to ensure probable return favours when needed.

167. Syllabus for Life on Social Media

Part of the syllabus of Paper V (Life on Social Media), Social Media Usage Course

1. The digital image and the real self. Why does the digital image have to be better than the real self? Why does the real self have to be worse than the digital image? The difference between digital and real. Spiderman and Peter Parker. (…)

2. Creating the perfect digital image. Maintaining the believability factor. Creating the Balanced Cool. Traits with high cool-index: dark humour, sarcasm, sunglasses, wit and humour of any kind, having useful contacts, dysfunctional family, closet racism, alpha males, rebel females. Traits with low cool-index: optimism, being helpful, sunglasses indoors, normal family, happy males and homely females, photo with cousine in front of car showroom in shopping mall. Tricks and tips to avoid expressions of innate cynicism and natural dislike for everybody.

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5. Intensity of social media usage. Demography and distribution of people active in Facebook at 7 am. High and low intensity usage of social media. On-the-go social media. Twitting while driving. Phone numbers of hospitals, morgues, crematories and graveyards. Why I tweet everything I think, post everything I cook and insta everything I eat. Coping with the fact that nobody cares. Depression, drugs and suicide.

6. People who do not use social media. Natural Suspicion and Struggle for Acceptance. (…)

165. Syllabus for Ideology, Blindness and Righteousness

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Ideology, Blindness and Righteousness), Party Politics Course

1. The Greater Common Good and the Insignificant Individual. Today’s pain, the day after the day after tomorrow’s inflation adjusted, non-taxable, encashable in coins gain. Definitions: progress, development, sustainability, nationalism, democratic process, honourable minister.

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3. The One Leader system. How to accept a person’s greatness without any proof. How to reject everybody else with passion. The concept of one person restoring the nation’s lost glory. Simple analysis of why that glory got lost in the first place and if there was actually any glory to start with. Fellowship under One Leader. Important terminology related to the performance and policy making capability of One Leader: long term benefit, derailed, stalled, shortsighted opposition, unforseen events, mass demonstration, biased media, fight against something, revolution against something, protection of something and something about employment or some other thing.

4. Basics of self-righteousness: there are 7 billion people on earth, but what I think is always right. Self-defined patriotism. How to judge people. The Reverse-Sherlock method: forming a judgement, then finding evidence. (…)

5. Failure of an ideology. When the One Leader loses the election. Changing political views in three hours. How to befriend people from opposition party. Quick adoption of another One Leader. How to develop absolute faith in the new One Leader and declare the same in public.

162. Syllabus for Work Environment and Colleagues

Part of the syllabus of Paper I (Work Environment and Colleagues), Office Dynamics Course

1. Workspace. The place to spend 50 hours a week. Shared workspaces: Territorial claims. Territory markers: photographs, print outs, dustbins, pen stands, files, coffee stains. How to ignore the same markers from the other person(s). Individual cabin: Staying awake; crying alone; alternatives to watching porn. (…)

2. Superiors. Bosses and problems. All bosses are problems but all problems are not bosses. Superiority complex. Ego: morphology and manifestations. Feeding the superior ego: gifts, praises, sycophancy, free time, leaves, life, universe, everything.

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4. Office romance. Study of standard pathways: boredom-attraction-crush-love-affair-marriage-boredom; boredom-attraction-crush-love-rejection-boredom; boredom-attraction-crush-love-lover’s marriage to someone else-Devdas; marriage-job-boredom-attraction-crush-love-hidden forever; marriage-job-boredom-attraction-crush-love-clandestine affair-toilet cubicle-less boredom; stress-sharing of stress-gentle friendship-retirement. (…)

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6. Office parties. Drinking with people you hate. How to unsay what is said. How to avoid being tagged in drunken groupfies. How not to drink in parties. (…)

154. Syllabus for Space and Time

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Space and Time), Work-Life Balancing Course

1. Designated and non-designated places for work and life. Spaces for work: office, bedroom, dining table, hotel room in vacation etc. Spaces for life: office canteen, sitting room at home, toilets, beach, taxi or metro etc. Why people work from plane but not from train.

2. Conversion of space. How to use work space for life and vice versa. Proper utilization of toilets and toilet breaks. Applications of a dining table. Pursuing hobbies at office. Hiding places in office desks. Setting up guards and avoiding detection. How to play games from office computers.

3. Difference between bringing work to home and working from home. Advantages of bringing work to home: pleased boss, overtime charges from office, avoidance of home responsibility, escape from reacting with irritating and/or demanding spouses. How to work more at home and less in office. Effective utilization of free time in office.

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5. Effective and ineffective periods for working. Time to clear pending work. The lure of the night. The horror of early morning. The guilt-ridden weekend afternoon. (…)

153. Syllabus for Core and Extended Family

Part of the syllabus of Paper III (Core and Extended Family), Family Management Course

1. Structural configuration of a family. Hardcore and softcore. Types of extensions and protrusions from core: sticky, thorny, bulbous, fleshy, sweet, utterly useless etc. Core-Extension synergy. Spatial models of Core-Extension relations: concentric circles, overlapping circles, tangential circles, separate circles, parallel lines, void. Core and Extension as observed by a child, a domestic help, an insurance policy salesman, a terminally ill patient, lawyers, police and tele-serial makers.

2. Role of parents. Parents as asset and/or liability. Staying with parents: a cautious togetherness. Mixing between parents and children: milk with water, oil with water, limestone with water, tea leaves with hot milk water, whiskey with coke, lime with milk. Duties of parents: grandchildren, financial backup, family relations, social relations, counselling and finding divorce lawyers. (…)

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5. Status in family. Nature of status: perceived, conceived, received and deceived. Wealth as the foundation of status. Status symbols. Car brand and model as the foundation of status symbol. Status maintenance. Is everyone better off than me? Professions that are automatic status symbols. Professions that are not. Status vs. Class. NRI in US vs. NRI in Europe. (…)

151. Syllabus for Introduction to Daily Politics

Part of the syllabus of Paper III (Introduction to Daily Politics), Party Politics Course

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2. Appearance: according to rank, hierarchy, season and obesity. Accessories. How to convert black money into accessories. Basic western wear for grassroot functionaries and classical Indian wear for leaders. Suitable clothing for the following appearances: veteran, menacing, energetic, liberal, conservative, left wing, right wing, guerrilla, leader of the poor, descendant of a princely state etc.

3. Body Language: walking, standing, sitting and looking at people. How to get in and get out of a car. How to hide rotten upbringing and deplorable education standards. Study of movement of eyebrows. Standing next to a powerful leader: behind or beside. Expressing grateful delight in presence of a powerful leader, subtle highhandedness towards non-political childhood friends, self assurance and confidence in front of the police and holier-than-thou attitude in front of opposition. How to walk like one who wields immense power.

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6. Aggression: threats, warnings, final warnings. Failure of subjects to comprehend warning. How to make false threats look real. How to make real threats in subtle ways. How to scare people by clenching feasts, messaging the neck and having bloodshot eyes. Study of human anatomy. Study of gorillas.

146. Syllabus for Task-Time Relations

Part of the syllabus of Paper I (Task-Time Relations), Time Management Course

1. What is meant by a Task. Stages of a task: conceiving, planning, delegating, observing, commenting. Pre-tasks: things to do before beginning. Nuclear model of doing a task: nucleus as the actual work done, surrounding atom as the force needed to start the work. Types of tasks: postponeable, non-postponeable, delegatable, non-delegatable, avoidable, unavoidable, legally obligatory, girlfriend’s/crush’s requests.

2. Time. Concept of time as a merciless flow. The deficit between supply and demand. Idealistic utilization of time. Clever wastage of time. Why everything needs more time. Stretching and bending of time: expansion during sadness and contraction during happiness. Best time to perform certain tasks. Time as a variable. Difference in time perception related to age, sex, and alcohol. (…)

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5. Estimation of time required for a task. Overestimation of required time, unplanned free time, feeling of emptiness in life. Underestimation of required time, breaking deadlines, excuses and passing of blame. How to calculate the actual time needed: mean, mode and median. Frequency distribution and analyses of most outlying points.

143. Syllabus for Newlyweds

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Newlyweds), Family Management Course

1. The First Three Days. Marking physical territories. Switching on the burner. Making tea. (…) Manufacturers of sturdy beds and tables. Pairing in terms of sharing and caring.

2. The Slope of Life. Wedding High, Honeymoon Low and Life Thereafter. 3 Days of fame. Keeping track of wedding gifts. Formulation of self-esteem from nature of gifts. Planning, financing and implementation of a successful honeymoon. Consummation without coercion. Return from honeymoon and the next three days. A glimpse of life ever after. Quotes of famous people on life and its meaning. Effect of meditation and yoga. The sweet promise of alimony. Suicide and Indian Penal Code.

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4. (…) Emotions among newlyweds: happiness, fulfillment, inexplicable delight, crestfallen, got-married-so-what, thankful to Almighty, misunderstood and mismatched, back pain, liberated from loneliness.

5. In-laws: Behind Enemy Lines. Mephisto. Madding Crowd. They Know What You Did Last Summer. Alice in Wonderland. Love, Sex aur Dhokha. A Few Good Men. When All Become One.

137. Syllabus for Rumours and Gossips

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Rumours and Gossips), Office Dynamics Course

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2. Spreading rumour and gossip – Best Practices. Times of the day: Sluggish Morning, Active Lunch, Fertile Afternoon. (…) Spreading Rumour as superior and as subordinate. Types of spread: relay race, Chinese whisper, branching out, addition and subtraction, creative writing, snowballing, mystification, obfuscation. Step-by-step progressions. Three Phases of gossips: Beginning, Spreading and Believing.

3. Tracking of rumours – Maintaining a daily log. Tracking areas: canteen, toilets, coffee machine, smoking zone, common room, corridor. Advantage and disadvantages. Tracking through naturally snoopy colleagues. Status of a rumour: active, beneath the surface, dormant, forgotten. Stoking the Fire. Methods and tools for the same.

4. Gathering of information from gossips. Believability of Colleagues. Trust-factors of a gossip. Checking authenticity of a rumour or gossip: origin, route of spread, motive of spread, general opinion and feelings about the target. When one knows the gossip is a lie. Handling lies: believing, rejecting, keeping a tab, spreading, encouraging and discouraging.  (…)

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135. Syllabus for Elections

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Elections), Party Politics Course

1. Democracy and elections – The Five Year Contract. Purposes of elections: constituting a government, creating political awareness among people, rotation of corruption, bringing leaders down to earth, protection from tyranny and dictatorship, keeping the media in business etc. (…)

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3. Budget for campaigning. Funding and sources of funding. Confidentiality Act between Sponsor and Candidate. Structure, function and laws of the Underworld. Protocols of approaching the mafia for funding. Return of favours once election is won. Contractual death threats at failure to perform. (…)

4. Election campaigning – Dehydration, gastritis and fatigue. Clothing, accessories and helping lads. One month’s pain, five years’ gain. Campaigning by foot, car and via media. Silent campaigning. Loud and obnoxious campaigning. Campaigning in media. Reaction to opposition and public questions. Immunity against: insults, logic, reason, pleading, duty, blame and humiliation. (…)

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7. Conducting elections – The dual nature of election turnout. (…). Despotic, tyrannical and one party elections. Case study: elections conducted by Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussain and Kim Jung-un. 

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132. Syllabus for Information Sharing and Searching

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Information Sharing and Searching), Social Media Usage Course

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3. Interests and attention – The Tenet of Pubic Attention: mundane self vs. enviable others.  Failure of self as an agent of happiness for others. The Attention Microspan. Micro units of time. Praise as envy and envy as praise. Concept of life as a bulletin board. Types of bulletins: happy proclamations, sad emotions, nostalgic feelings, visual details of events, outpouring of wrath, criticism of authority. (…)

4. (…) Importance and identification of a good photographer. Differences between photos and selfies. Reasons for uploading selfies: being self-sufficient, being lonely, being the photographer of the group, being narcissist, being a lone traveler, being bored and having a selfie phone.  

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6. The lives of others – General introduction to voyeurism. Self as a target of voyeurism from others. Peeping Tom and Snooping Linda. Systematic methods for following a person in social media: notifications, hourly checking, setting alarms for checking, using aliases, befriending next of kin, befriending target person with false pretenses.

7. Stalking – Introduction to daily life in prison. History of Police beatings before and after Independence in India. Anatomy and morphology of Social Disgrace. The concept of illegal pleasure. Oversexualization of the target person (or animal). Imaginary interactions with target persons. Regular and intermittent stalking. Basic modes of shadowing without being caught. Blurring the line between imagination and reality. The concept of Unreciprocated Admiration. Baiscs of drawing. Equations of a straight line. Where, when and how to draw a line.

129. Syllabus for Priority Analysis

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Priority Analysis), Time Management Course

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3. Obligatory priorities – Definition and extent of obligatory priorities: spouse’s demands, parents’ expectations, sibling’s competitive challenges, friend’s plea of help, employer’s wishes. Rank and file of priorities. Discarding obligatory priorities based on the social status of the obligator.

4. Acting on priorities – Relationship between performing and claiming to have performed. Models based on proportionate divisions of the same. Substantiation of False Claims. Non-executionary priorities – definition, examples and explanation of why there are no needs to act on such priorities. Concept of Eternal Pending.

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6. Daily priorities – Importance index of family, friends and acquaintances. Relationship between priority and time of day. Weekday and weekend priorities. Concept of self-satisfaction and self-centeredness.

7. Hindering agents – concept of everybody else as a hindrance. Own priorities, polluting priorities and impurities. Structure and components of  obstacle courses. (…)

128. Syllabus for Anger Management and Frustration Handling

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Anger Management and Frustration Handling), Office Dynamics Course

1. Anger – definition and general introduction. Cause and effect. Subject, object and action.  Image analysis of an angry young man. Stages of anger: hidden, barely aware, cohabitant, nagging, pricking, bleeding, bursting, exploding, suicidal, homicidal and genocidal. Anger at office space. Difference between Spouse and Boss. The growth of anger: the Snowballing Principal. Expression of Anger – Merits and demerits of diplomacy and hypocrisy. Insubordination of the Subordinate Act. 

2. Frustration - Concepts of inability, incapability and intolerance. Theories of Specific and General Worthlessness. Image analysis of a frustrated old man. The Hope – Time bell curve. Frustration at home and work. Frustration as a hobby. Sharing frustration: with professionals, with caring friends, with bored friends. Bringing office frustration at home. Steps of getting a divorce lawyer. Models of Dying Alone. 

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5. Resignation – Definition and history. Formats of a resignation letter or mail. Verbal resignation. Storming out. Threats of resignation: risk assessment and execution. Negotiation with resignation: point of no return; overestimation of self; underestimation of HR. (…) Structure of society – difficulties of living life without money.

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101. Syllabus for Fundamentals of Chatting

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Fundamentals of Chatting), Social Media Usage

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2. Chatting in English in India – significance and social prestige. Statute of Freedom of Expression in Wrong English. Classification of Chat-English – intelligent; educated; fake; awe-inspiring; motivating; horror-inspiring; not English; inexplicable; incomprehensible. Grammatical aspects – smiley, punctuations, interjections, romantic expressions. Short forms. The Principle of Vowel Vulnerability. Import and export from regional languages. Copy-paste chatting.

3. Actions during chatting. Modes and expression of sulking. The gender difference. Display of happiness in other people’s success. Associated mental and spiritual trauma. Grades of happiness – rubbery, lukewarm, casual, overdoing, bipolar. Expressions and mass-sharing of loneliness. Songs to express loneliness. Demanding sympathy for: rejection and ensuing dejection; car AC not working; spouse’s lack of support for morning walks; lack of time for pursuing creative hobbies. Hiding insecurities, depression and sadness.

4. Group chatting. Analysis of different personalities. Concept of a Chat Flow. Viscosity and resistance. Rate of change of topics to rate of participation of members. Second and third order differential equations. Integration of oddballs, unsocial, selfish and self-centred members into an existing group. Integration by parts of potentially threatening members. Filtration and isolation of useful group members. Planning during group chatting – making a plan, cancelling a plan, doubting a plan, hindering a plan.

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