168. Eye for an Eye

Two colleagues are talking at office.

B: People are saying that I have been bitching about your team leader. They are saying that I have an eye on his girlfriend. And they are saying that I tried to make you quit the job. Can you tell me what is going on?

A: People are talking. That is going on.

B: Am I missing something here?

A: You should not. After all, we did the same course.

B: What course? That NILS course?

A: Yes. We have both learnt office dynamics from the same source, so please do not think I did not see through your plans when you tried to convince me to quit the job.

B: What are you talking about? You are my friend and closest colleague!

A: And I am also the one with as much knowledge about office politics as you. Nobody else has done the NILS course. So, you suggested that I quit. Elimination of personnel of equal knowledge base, right? From Paper 3.

B: You are completely wrong.

A: Then you persuaded me to say nothing to the team leader, you asked me to avoid confrontation at any cost. That was because you wanted to keep the situation calm so that you can get an easy promotion after I leave. Paper 1, right?

B: (Only stares)

A: And then that farce about case study. You said you wanted to ask your classmates if they have any suggestions for me. But in reality you were asking them to point out my weakness. Paper 1 again.

B: I see. So, now you want to tell me suddenly that you never had a problem with this team leader and did not like his girlfriend and did not feel like leaving this job?

A: I am still saying I have a problem, I like the girl and I hate the job. But that is not what everybody is saying.

B: Everybody is saying I like that girl and hate that guy. When did you start that rumour?

A: Not when, where. Washrooms. Paper 2, if you remember.

B: You are a scoundrel.

A: Before you get physical, I would like to tell you that I have always played by the books. Everything I did was taught in the course and you had brought those notes to me.

B: In which class did they teach you to betray your friend?

A: You are getting strategically emotional to make me retreat. Paper 3. But I am not falling for it, because you started it. All I did was to transfer the blame from me to you. I was the one accused of having an eye on the team leader’s girl. Now you are the one. Simple blame transfer. Paper 5. Eye for an eye and we are even.

157. Head Held High

Two colleagues are talking in office. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course. He had presented the other one’s problems – with due permission – as a case study and is now explaining the suggestions and solutions offered by the other classmates.

A: Come again!

B: Nobody thinks you stand a chance against this team leader.

A: Nobody?

B: Almost. Except two people who did not seem interested in the matter.

A: So what am I supposed to do?

B (consulting notes): Most of my classmates suggested that you should keep a low profile for six to eight months. By then the team leader will either forget about you or will not think of you as a problem.

A: And what happens to my promotions and appraisals if I sit quiet for six months?

B: My classmates are of the opinion that it is more important to save yourself from this vindictive and aggressive team leader than to get a promotion. And everybody has also said that you should forget about that girl. Nobody thinks it is a good idea to nurture a crush on your team leader’s girlfriend, especially when he is the way he is.

A: Nobody wants me to at least talk to her once?

B: Nobody. Including even those uninterested two students.

A: So, people are basically asking me to hide under the table.

B: Some also suggested that you change the job.

A: Isn’t that running away?

B: It might sound like that, yes. So your options are hiding or running away. But the second one is slightly better because in that case you can walk away with your head held high.

A: I want to talk to her once.

B: Don’t.

A (after a very long time): What is your suggestion? Your personal suggestion?

B (in a low voice): Change the job. You can do nothing here with that guy around.

A: You want me to resign?

B: No. Never. But that is probably going to be the best thing for you. You can save your pride.

A: I need to think about this.

B: Yes, please do. But do not talk to a lot of people about it. Then they will start saying how you are running away. Tell them on the last day that you have got a better offer.

A: Hmm.

136. Subject of Study

Two colleagues are talking at work. One of them (B) is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS.

B: You are frustrated.

A: I am frustrated.

B (taking notes): Why?

A: Because of my team leader. He is too authoritative and power hungry. He likes to manipulate people for his own goals. And he is actively blocking my promotion by giving negative appraisals.

B: Sounds exaggerated, but I got the gist. What next? Are you overworked?

A: I am overworked.

B (scribbling): Why?

A: Because my team leader makes me work more than others.

B: Alright. And then you have made two major mistakes at work over the last six weeks and some minor ones. You are not working efficiently.

A: I am not working efficiently.

B: Why?

A: I am distracted and nervous. I am so nervous of doing something wrong that I am losing confidence and making silly mistakes.

B: And you are in love with the girlfriend of the team leader you hate.

A: And I am in love with…

B (interrupting): And she does not care about you.

A: Let’s say, she has so far not shown…

B (scribbling): She does not care for you.

A: Alright.

B (looking at his notes): Yes, you seem to be a good subject for the case study assignment. I am going to write about you.

A: Make sure that I get something out of this. At least some suggestion or advice.

B: That is what the others are supposed to do. Listen to my case study subject and suggest remedies.

122. It Wasn't Me!

Two colleagues are talking in office. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS. They are discussing a homework.

A: Is this a homework for the application session?

B: No this is for the fifth paper, Blame and Blame Transfer. It is due on Thursday.

A: So I have to blame someone else for a mistake that I have made?

B: Two mistakes. You have to recall your last two mistakes or goof-ups at work and make up an argument that puts the blame on someone else.

A: Last two mistakes? Hmm. Both will have to be mine?

B: No, let’s share. Say one mine and one yours?

A: Fair enough. Then I will develop an argument against my last goof-up, an argument that will prove that it was somebody else’s mistake.

B: Yes. Then I will present your and my arguments in class on Thursday and others will try to find faults in them. If nobody can refute the argument, then it stays. Everybody will do the same and finally we will have a list of arguments for blame-transfer that cannot be easily refuted. Finally we can generalize them to be used in any situation.

A: That should give us a directory of methods to put blames on others.

B: Exactly.

A: Good. Good stuff.

103. Fight Rumour with Rumour

A student from the Office Dynamics course is talking to his teacher during a one-on-one session about a problem his colleague is facing at work. The student is asking for the teacher’s advice on what his colleague can do.

Teacher: People in your office are saying that your colleague has a crush on his team leader’s girlfriend?

Student: Yes, and the rumour is spreading. This can be bad for him.

Teacher: What is he afraid of?

Student: The team leader is rather vindictive. He can try to create trouble for my colleague. And he is definitely going to be upset if he hears that my colleague has an eye on his girlfriend.

Teacher: I see. What does your colleague want now?

Student: He wants to know if there are any ways of stopping this rumour before it reaches the team leader.

Teacher: Hmm. Stopping a rumour is not easy. Tell me, does he really like her?

Student: Head over heels, sir.

Teacher: I see. This makes the spread of information a gossip and not only a rumour. See, you cannot destroy gossip. You can either dispel it by proving something to the contrary or you can cover it with something more interesting, a new event or a new rumour, that is more fascinating than his love life. Then people will start talking about that event and his scandal will take a backseat.

Student: But where is such an event, sir?

Teacher: Are there going to be any major changes or announcements in the short future?

Student: Not that I know of. And there is not much time before the story reaches the team leader.

Teacher: Then he will have to take the dispelling way. Does he have a girlfriend?

Student: No, sir.

Teacher: Did he ever have a girlfriend?

Student: Probably no, sir.

Teacher: Is he the type of guy who can convince a girl to play as his girlfriend for a couple of days in front of his colleagues?

Student: Definitely not, sir. I can ask someone to play the part of the girlfriend but he will be too nervous.

Teacher: Then there is only one option left. Listen carefully. You have to start a rumour about him being in crazy stupid love with some other girl, preferably outside office. Make up a story about how puppy-like devoted he is to her. Make him look dumb. Make people laugh at him. That will convince everyone that he is actually after another girl.

Student: Should I also tell people that he does not like the team leader’s girlfriend?

Teacher: No. Let them deduce that on their own. But make sure to give them a saucy story about this other girl, or else it won’t stick. Fight rumour with rumour. That is the mantra. This might blow a hole in his dignity, but it will save his job.

89. The Team Leader

Two colleagues are talking in their office. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS. They are hunched over a paper and talking about a certain team leader. The paper has a list of human emotions and attributes and a row of checkboxes beside them.

A: Does he like followers?

B: Oh, definitely!

A: (Puts a mark on the paper) Alright. Is he generous?

B: With his followers, yes.

A: But not generally, that’s right. Next is sadist. Is he a sadist? I don’t think so.

B: No, that is slightly extreme.

A: But he is vindictive.

B: Y-e-s.

A: Egoistic? I guess he is.

B: He has a big fat ego. Don’t think, just put a tick. Now, manipulative? Maybe a little?

A: Manipulative…hmm…no, I don’t think so.

B: If you step on his toes, he might try to play dirty.

A: You will do the same. He is not manipulative. May be slightly insecure, but who isn’t?

B: Yes, the higher up you are, the more insecure you feel.

A (thinking): He likes to brag about how good he is at work. Do you think that is a sign of insecurity?

B: No, I guess that is plain narcissism.

A: What? No. That is too strong. I would say it is either insecurity or overconfidence or a mixture of both.

B: Probably a mixture. Put a tick on both.

A: I think we have quite a few points about him. Now what?

B: Now we consult this document (takes out same papers). This has a list of do’s and don’ts for all different attributes. This basically tells you how to go about people having such natural traits.

A: (Counting marked checkboxes in the list) we have marked nine boxes for him. Nine attributes. Do we have do’s and don’ts for each one of them.

B: Yes. But, we have to combine them now. Finally there should not be more than five do’s and five don’ts altogether.

A: That is the homework?

B: That is the homework. Create guidelines for interactions with your colleagues.

74. Job or Love?

Two colleagues are talking at work. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS.

A: Did you ask the teacher about me?

B: Yes. Did I have any other option?

A: Did he laugh at you?

B: Not he, she. No she did not laugh but looked at me curiously.

A: That is fine, don’t worry. What did you say?

B: I said that there is this colleague of mine who is in love with a girl in his office. But this girl happens to be the girlfriend of his supervisor. Lately he has seen them fighting quite a lot and the girl seems often pissed off with the supervisor.

A: Yes, you put it correctly.

B: Hmm. Then I asked the teacher if it will be a good idea for my colleague to make advances towards the girl taking chance of their relationship problems.

A: What did she say?

B: She asked me why you have not made any advances so far. I told her that the supervisor can be quite vindictive and the girl unpredictable.

A: She is under duress, not unpredictable.

B: Whatever. The teacher has given three criteria and you should try your luck with your girl if and only if all three criteria are satisfied.

A: What are they?

B: One, she must be at least generally aware of your existence in the office. Two, the supervisor must not have powerful friends outside the office. And three, your parents should have enough residual income to support you after you lose your job.

A: Should I just give up?

B: What do you want to give up? Job or love?

A: Love, man, love. Who ever gives up the job?

72. During The Break

(For more information on the people below, please click on the labels at the end)

The Batchmates

The boy from Party Politics and the girl from Social Media are standing at the glass window at the end of the second floor corridor, between the classrooms of Office Dynamics and Work-Life Balancing. The boy is holding a folded newspaper and explaining some news to the girl. The girl is showing a look of intent interest every time the guy is looking up at her.

The Daughter

The daughter is sitting in her classroom for Time Management on the second floor and talking to a girl of similar age. They both have a chart with the title “Invisible Time Records” in front of them and seem to be having a discussing about the topic. On the chart in front of the other girl the words “Total 4.5 hours” are written in red ink.

The Married Ones

The man and the woman are standing next to the water cooler at the canteen. The man is leaning against a wall with a light smile on his face. The woman is showing him something on her mobile. Her face is slightly red.

The Husband

The husband is standing in the corridor outside his Family Management classroom on the second floor and talking to his wife on phone. He has just suggested that he will take her out for dinner. But to his dismay, instead of being overjoyed his wife is now asking if this proposal was a kind of home assignment given in class.

The Office Guy

The colleague from the Office Dynamics course is in the library. He is issuing a book called, “Safety 101: How Not to Trust Anyone”.

47. Stacked Leaves

Two colleagues are talking at office. One of them is doing the Office Dynamics course at NILS.

B: Did you try the homework?

A: I do not understand. What are we exactly supposed to do? Make a list of all holidays?

B: No. A list of all leaves. Not holidays. The leaves that you are going to take.

A: That is a short list. Some annual leaves and some sick leaves.

B: You can also take some hourly leaves in our office.

A: So, there are three. And that is the homework?

B: No-no. You are supposed to plan for a whole year - how you are going to utilize your leaves to the maximum limit.

A: All three leaves?

B: Yes. One has to be careful doing that. Sick leaves are better taken singly, or else people will ask for a medical certificate. Which makes it a good idea to take sick leaves on Fridays or Mondays to make a long weekend.

A: Annual leaves are good for travels.

B: Yeah.

A: (Thinking) Hourly leaves can be taken for parties and invitations.

B: Also on a Friday afternoon. Then you have weekend. And then take sick leave on Monday. You will have a 3 and a half days of weekend. This is called Stacking. If you can stack leaves successfully, you can avoid a lot of stress.

A: I see. Stacking all types of leaves and holidays to the best of effect.

B: To max out your non-working days. That is the homework. Make a plan of leaves so that you can work the least number of days and still remain employed. And you can do that by the method of Stacking.

25. Team Leader Insecurities

Two colleagues talking at office. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course.

A: Did you ask the teacher about my situation?

B: Yes, I did.

A: What did you say?

B: I told him that my friend is a team leader, but a couple of his juniors in his team seem to be more competent than him. Or at least he thinks so. He is afraid that he might be removed from his position and made to work under his juniors. I asked him what one should do in such a situation.

A: What did he say?

B: First, he praised your honest appraisal of the situation (winks).

A: Oh yeah (rolls eyes).

B: Actually he was serious about that honesty part. He keeps saying in class that an honest analysis of your incapabilities will help you to build a solid and safe foundation at work.

A: Alright, but I do not feel much solid or safe.

B: He said that there can be two scenarios. If the juniors are merely more confident than the team leader and has a better understanding of the job, then the team leader can try to find their mistakes – everybody makes some – and bring them out somehow in front of others. But one has to do it tactfully. This will convince others that even though those juniors are good, the TL is even better.

A: They are not only more confident, they are too damn good.

B: Yes, that is the second scenario. When the juniors are actually much better. He said the only way to still remain the leader in such a situation is to establish that it was you who had unleashed the potential of those juniors. That they could not shine if you were not there to guide them.

A: Even if they do not need guidance?

B: Yes. Tell people that you have an eye for real talents and you have enough experiences to know how to nurture them.

A: In short, act like a kindergarten teacher.

B: Or like a sports selector whose real job is not to play the sport but to spot the talent.

10. Officescapes

(Two colleagues talking at work. They are sharing courses. One had attended a course on Savings and Investment during the last session and shared his notes. And the other one is currently attending a course in Office Dynamics. Their tone is low, probably to avoid disclosure.) 

A: “How was the first class?”

B: “We introduced ourselves and described our offices. Then we learnt about different office landscapes. Here, I have the notes.” (Hands over a notebook with NILS logo on top)

A (Looking at the notes): “Icebergs, mountains? What do they have to do with an office?”

B: “Those are called Officescapes, based on the hierarchical structures. There are four types broadly. The Mountain is where the boss is visibly at the top and everybody knows that his word is law. In the Canyon Officescape, you do not see the boss so directly, but he has a deep impact on every policy. Just like a canyon you cannot see it from the field afar, but when you are actually in it, you can see how deep it goes.

A: “Why would a boss not show himself?”

B: “I don’t know. This seems to be a new fad.”

A (looking at the notes and thinking): “And this Iceberg hierarchy is where the boss is visible but you do not realize his real power and connections because he does not show his hand.”

B: “Yes and this mostly happens in the lower levels of a corporate ladder. The directors do not mind showing their power, but the team leaders and middle management do not want to disclose their clout to others. They show a little to get people’s respect, but keep the most of it under wraps. Hence, Iceberg.”

A: “And the dessert has no hierarchy?”

B: “Yes, the Dessert Officescape has no hierarchy and no clear direction of authority. One has to find his or her own way through the terrain. If you are lucky and persistent you become successful, or else you go round and round in the same place.

A: “Complete stagnation?”

B: “Yes. Keep the notes. We will talk again later.”