183. Question Paper for Basic Writing Skills

Question paper for the examination of Paper III (Basic Writing Skills), Social Media Usage Course

Answer any five. Each question carries ten marks.

1. Write Happy Birthday Facebook comments for (i) boss, (ii) spouse, (iii) crush, (iv) a random good-looking guy or girl.

2. (i) Compare between grammatical mistakes and short forms.

(ii) “Everything is fair in SMS and Twitter.” – Justify.

3. Narrate an incident from your life as a Facebook post without using the following words: actually, very, basically, lot of, so, extremely.

4. (i) Outline the different situations where a reply with only emojis/smileys is most effective.

(ii) Write three sentences each with five or more emojis and two words.

5. (i) Write an emotional post for Father’s Day that has a likeability of above 75.

(ii) Write passionately about iceberg melting in 40 words.

6. Write LinkedIn job profile descriptions for (i) Cristiano Ronaldo, (ii) Kim Kardashian, (iii) Tintin, (iv) Snowy.  

176. Question Paper for Principles of Profiles

Question paper for the examination of Paper I (Principles of Profiles), Social Media Usage Course

Answer any five. Each question carries ten marks.

1. (i) How can you use your Instagram profile for advertising your start-up?

(ii) How can you use your LinkedIn profile for online dating?

2. Outline the salient features of a Romantic Profile. Describe how you can increase or decrease the romantic nature of your profile in different social media.

3. Define Virtual Falsification. Explain how much of Virtual Falsification is optimum for you and why.

4. What characters should your Facebook display picture have when you, (a) want everybody to find you, (b) want only some people to find you, (c) want nobody to find you and (d) do not want your spouse or parents to find you.

5. (i) What is a Stalking Profile?

(ii) Describe the features of a Stalking Profile.

(iii) How can you keep your Stalking Profile away from and completely unrelated to your basic profile?

6. Describe where the “Log out” buttons are hidden in LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

167. Syllabus for Life on Social Media

Part of the syllabus of Paper V (Life on Social Media), Social Media Usage Course

1. The digital image and the real self. Why does the digital image have to be better than the real self? Why does the real self have to be worse than the digital image? The difference between digital and real. Spiderman and Peter Parker. (…)

2. Creating the perfect digital image. Maintaining the believability factor. Creating the Balanced Cool. Traits with high cool-index: dark humour, sarcasm, sunglasses, wit and humour of any kind, having useful contacts, dysfunctional family, closet racism, alpha males, rebel females. Traits with low cool-index: optimism, being helpful, sunglasses indoors, normal family, happy males and homely females, photo with cousine in front of car showroom in shopping mall. Tricks and tips to avoid expressions of innate cynicism and natural dislike for everybody.

(…)

5. Intensity of social media usage. Demography and distribution of people active in Facebook at 7 am. High and low intensity usage of social media. On-the-go social media. Twitting while driving. Phone numbers of hospitals, morgues, crematories and graveyards. Why I tweet everything I think, post everything I cook and insta everything I eat. Coping with the fact that nobody cares. Depression, drugs and suicide.

6. People who do not use social media. Natural Suspicion and Struggle for Acceptance. (…)

142. Good Morning Messages

Class activity (Social Media Usage, Paper IV – Fundamentals of Chatting)

The topic for the class was Good Morning Messages. The students were asked why they send Good Morning messages to Whatsapp contacts. Some of the reasons given by them – and listed on the board – are as follow.

- It is an instinctive reaction to forward the Good Morning Messages I receive.

- I do not know for sure but I am a little worried that something bad might happen if I do not.

- I do not think a lot in the early morning. I simply forward them.

- Because the money generated is spent for poor children’s education in some very poor country.

- I wish everybody started his or her day with a smile. I try to do my little part.

- I send Good Morning Messages to her every few days so that she does not forget me.

- What else can be done with those messages? One cannot have them for breakfast.

- I have a lot of free data on my mobile internet plan.

- I do not want anybody to be any less irritated than me when they wake up and check their phones.

- I send such messages to my dead daughter’s mobile number. This is the only communication left between us. Even if they are not delivered.

- Spreading such messages will help us build a new India.

132. Syllabus for Information Sharing and Searching

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Information Sharing and Searching), Social Media Usage Course

(…)

3. Interests and attention – The Tenet of Pubic Attention: mundane self vs. enviable others.  Failure of self as an agent of happiness for others. The Attention Microspan. Micro units of time. Praise as envy and envy as praise. Concept of life as a bulletin board. Types of bulletins: happy proclamations, sad emotions, nostalgic feelings, visual details of events, outpouring of wrath, criticism of authority. (…)

4. (…) Importance and identification of a good photographer. Differences between photos and selfies. Reasons for uploading selfies: being self-sufficient, being lonely, being the photographer of the group, being narcissist, being a lone traveler, being bored and having a selfie phone.  

(…)

6. The lives of others – General introduction to voyeurism. Self as a target of voyeurism from others. Peeping Tom and Snooping Linda. Systematic methods for following a person in social media: notifications, hourly checking, setting alarms for checking, using aliases, befriending next of kin, befriending target person with false pretenses.

7. Stalking – Introduction to daily life in prison. History of Police beatings before and after Independence in India. Anatomy and morphology of Social Disgrace. The concept of illegal pleasure. Oversexualization of the target person (or animal). Imaginary interactions with target persons. Regular and intermittent stalking. Basic modes of shadowing without being caught. Blurring the line between imagination and reality. The concept of Unreciprocated Admiration. Baiscs of drawing. Equations of a straight line. Where, when and how to draw a line.

125. Usage Patterns

A handout given in class (Social Media Usage, Paper V – Life on Social Media)

Social Media Usage Patterns

Usage and dependence related to social media varies from person to person. It might also vary for the same person over time. 

Checking notifications are not considered as active usage.

The following patterns of usage (or dependence) are generally observed:

1. Day and Night: The person uses social media extensively for a prolonged period of time and then stays away from all social media for a similarly long period of time.

2. Chess: The person is using social media on and off in short intervals and from different devices like office computer, mobile, personal laptop etc.

3. Zebra: Similar to Day and Night but the periods are much shorter, mostly alternate hours.

4. Polka Dots: There can be two variations. In one, the background is real life and the social media activities appear as bubbles in them. In the second variation, the social media forms the continuous background while real life shows through small bubbles.

5. Starry Sky: An extreme version of Polka Dots. The second variation of Starry Sky demands emergency treatment.

112. The Educated Stalker

Class Teaching (Social Media Usage, Paper II – Information Sharing and Searching)

Teacher: “Obsession forms the foundation of stalking. To be an effective stalker, you should have a strong obsession and a sound legal mind.

“If you are not obsessed enough, you will miss a lot of thrill and if you do not possess enough legal knowledge, you will miss a lot of freedom.

“Do not be afraid to stalk, though. It is perfectly fine as long as you know you are probably end up going to harm someone and consequently be beaten up, bring disgrace to your family and spend prison time.

“In order to guess what might come your way, you should be able to ascertain your correct Stalker-level and act accordingly.

“The first level is the Level of Watchfulness. You are doing your regular rounds of social media, but about forty percent of your total activity is directly or indirectly associated with one person. This stage is not harmful to either of the parties involved. If you are good at lying, you can come out in flying colours even if caught red handed.

“The second level is the Level of Tunnel-Vision. In this level about eighty percent of your activity centres around a particular person. This means you have a lot of information about the daily life of that person, which other people either do not know or do not care to remember. There is a serious chance of getting caught if you are not careful while talking about the said person. If caught, people will think of you as too nosey and slightly pervert. The said person may break off all contact.

“If you have any wish of living a respectable life, do not proceed beyond level two. If you have to ask someone what respectable means, read on.

“The third level is the Level of Immersion. This is the level where the boundary between virtual and real is ruptured and your real life has started to be influenced by that person. Without his or her knowledge, you have been visiting the same places, watching the same movies, listening to the same songs and saving photos, a lot of photos. Chances of detection is very high because your sudden disappearance from all other social circles including friends and family will be noticed. If caught, you will be considered a perverted creep and suitable for psychiatric therapy. To avoid that: maintain a social life, even if it bores you. Remember, you are no more a good citizen and you need some protection.

“The fourth level is the Level of Exaltation. Your life has ceased any meaning without the association of that person. Sooner or later, you will be caught. Disgrace or ridicule is not your problem anymore, you are beyond that. Your problem is law and order. Because, when you are caught, you will be considered as a possible sex offender or murderer. Have a good lawyer. Even better, read up some law books when you are not following that person. Then you do what you were born to do before your time is up.”

107. Smileys, Okies and Talkies

On The Board (Social Media Usage, Paper IV – Fundamentals of Chatting)

Homework

1. Make five sentences with any five WhatsApp smileys.

2. Arrange the following in an increasing order of sulkiness:

Okay, okie, o.k., okiedokie, k, OK

3. List five small-talk topics that you could use at the beginning of a chat before asking someone for a favour.

101. Syllabus for Fundamentals of Chatting

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Fundamentals of Chatting), Social Media Usage

…

2. Chatting in English in India – significance and social prestige. Statute of Freedom of Expression in Wrong English. Classification of Chat-English – intelligent; educated; fake; awe-inspiring; motivating; horror-inspiring; not English; inexplicable; incomprehensible. Grammatical aspects – smiley, punctuations, interjections, romantic expressions. Short forms. The Principle of Vowel Vulnerability. Import and export from regional languages. Copy-paste chatting.

3. Actions during chatting. Modes and expression of sulking. The gender difference. Display of happiness in other people’s success. Associated mental and spiritual trauma. Grades of happiness – rubbery, lukewarm, casual, overdoing, bipolar. Expressions and mass-sharing of loneliness. Songs to express loneliness. Demanding sympathy for: rejection and ensuing dejection; car AC not working; spouse’s lack of support for morning walks; lack of time for pursuing creative hobbies. Hiding insecurities, depression and sadness.

4. Group chatting. Analysis of different personalities. Concept of a Chat Flow. Viscosity and resistance. Rate of change of topics to rate of participation of members. Second and third order differential equations. Integration of oddballs, unsocial, selfish and self-centred members into an existing group. Integration by parts of potentially threatening members. Filtration and isolation of useful group members. Planning during group chatting – making a plan, cancelling a plan, doubting a plan, hindering a plan.

…

98. The 80-20 Hypothesis

A female student from Social Media Usage course and a male student of Party Politics course are talking in the bus stop outside the NILS building. It is past 8:30 pm and all classes have got over.

Girl: Today we did something interesting. We had a class on what type of information you should share on social media if you are running a store and want to advertise your merchandise online.

Boy: What type of store?

Girl: Anything, from big chain stores like Shoppers Stop to smaller online start-ups selling stuff like key chains or handbags.

Boy: That is a long range.

Girl: And yet they have the same purpose. Tell me, what do you remember from big chain store adverts on Facebook?

Boy: Like Shoppers Stop? Colourful clothes mostly. Some bath towel kind of stuff as well. Scented candles.

Girl: That’s all?

Boy: Umm…some prices and discounts. And some happy family kind of photos with the models wearing the products.

Girl: Okay. Myntra?

Boy: Similar. Lot of clothes and other stuff. Discounts, combos. Models wearing stuff.

Girl: Amazon?

Boy: Computer accessories.

Girl: Only?

Boy: Books also I guess. I don’t read much.

Girl: No wonder! What type of computer accessories?

Boy (thinking): Mouse pads, USB drives, laptops.

Girl: What kind of laptops.

Boy: Mostly notebooks of basic models. Some very hi-fi gaming laptops.

Girl: Some classy stuff and some for the middle class.

Boy: You can say that.

Girl: Not me. The teacher said so. She was saying that every store that puts up adverts online will show 80% of middle class accessible products with low prices, discounts and attractive combos and about 20% of high class products. They may never sell those 20% but it only increases their brand value.

Boy: Gaming laptops make people think they are not a roadside shop?

Girl: Yes, even if nobody is buying the laptop. Same with scented candles in Shoppers Stop. Few will buy them, but it makes them look a classy outlet. Which is why, when you are creating social media adverts for your store, you should have 80% of middle class products meant for real sale and 20% of high class product mostly to boost your brand value.

Boy: Some shops in malls only sell extremely high-end products.

Girl: And nobody buys them. The owners of those shops have a bigger business and that shop is the 20% of that entire business.

Boy: Hmm. 20% invested in imported perfume and real business is actually chewing gum.

Girl: Possible.

90. Vastly Different

Class Teaching (Social Media Usage, Paper V – Life on Social Media)

Teacher: “Today we start with the fifth paper of Social Media Usage course. This paper is about our lives on social media.

“There are two fundamental truths about our online lives.

“One, our lives on social media can comfortably swing between reality and fantasy. They have no compulsions to mirror our actual lives.

“Two, the lives of men are women are vastly different on social media platforms. Men have to fight tooth and nails for acceptance and attention while women need to ward off unnecessary attention constantly.

“For this reason, when a man writes a Facebook status update, he should produce a short text, written in easy, crisp language with eyeball grabbing font size, colour and format.

“women, on the other hand, can – and should - write long flowing texts in true literary styles. Most stalkers and false friends have low attention spans and they stop reading after the first line. At the same time it conveys that the writer is an articulate and intelligent woman. Nearly half of the population is scared of that type.”

82. Paper I Project Titles

Students have submitted their projects for the first papers of each course. Some of the titles are given below.

First Papers:

Social Media Usage: Principles of Profiles

Party Politics: Political Systems and Parties

Family Management: Joint and Nuclear Family

Office Dynamics: Work Environment and Colleagues

Time Management: Task-Time Relations

Project Titles:

Nosy Brother or Nosy Neighbour – Privacy in Joint and Nuclear Families (Family Management)

Party Colours – A Worldwide Survey (Party Politics)

Radial and Parallel Multitasking (Time Management)

Lies, Damn Lies and Facebook Profiles (Social Media Usage)

Projecting Ambition through Social Media (Social Media Usage)

Work from Home – Advantage, Disadvantage, Abuse and Misuse (Office Dynamics)

The Religious Communists (Party Politics)

A Voyeuristic Survey on Romance in My Workplace (Office Dynamics)

Joint Family – Symbol of Indian Tradition, Harmony and 

Television Industry (Family Management)

A Brief Mistry of Time (Time Management)

78. On the Boards in Classrooms

On The Boards

Social Media Usage – Paper III, Basic Writing Skills

Homework: Write a “Share to 20 people in 10 minutes” text on war casualties.

Party Politics – Paper III, Introduction to Daily Politics

(Nothing on the board)

Family Management – Paper III, Core and Extended Family

The teacher is drawing two pairs of circles on the board. One pair is concentric and the other one is overlapping.

English for Chatting – Paper II, English Writing

it, you, they

its, your, their

it’s, you’re, they’re

Office Dynamics – Paper III, Working in Team

What are the different types of colleagues in a team?

Time Management – Paper III, Goal Setting

Today’s Topic:

Obstacles – demolish or climb?

Work-Life Balancing – Paper II, Space and Time

Survey: Are you happy with your allocated space at work?

Yes	No

76. Consultations

In class (Social Media Usage, Paper I – Principles of Profiles)

Teacher: “The Paper I syllabus is nearly finished and there is only one more class on next Thursday. We have had twenty hours of lectures and discussions on the topic of Principles of Profiles.

“We have covered the basic structures and functions of profiles in social media. We have talked about the differences between reality and fantasy and compared different types of profiles.

“We have seen how by clever application of certain techniques it is possible for even complete losers to appear rich and famous.

“We have seen how a DP is what defines you in the larger world and how to keep changing your profiles with changing times. We have discussed about the value of your Facebook photo album in your lifestyle and future.

“We have covered theoretical topics such as pseudo-intellectual following, baby photo spams, unread motivational quotes, selfie frequency etc.

“During the last two months we have guided you to create the kind of social media profile that suits your own image of yourself. Naturally, it is never entirely realistic because all of us either overestimate or underestimate our own capabilities.

“However, it is important to create a perfect balance of reality and fantasy. Too much of one will eventually turn you into a laughing stock among your friends and family.

“In our last class of Paper I on next Thursday we are going to offer you free consultations. We will have private sessions with all of you, where we will have a look at your various online profiles and offer suggestions and advices for betterment.

“I am sure it will help you immensely to create your own profiles that will project you in a way that is much better than what you really are or ever will be.”

70. Photo Uploading Guidelines

From a student’s class notes (Social Media Usage, Paper II – Information Sharing and Searching):

Types of photos and where to upload them

Photo of rain / rainy day – Insta

Photo of your cooking (with a good camera) – Insta

Same with bad camera – FB

When you are travelling to nice locations – WhatsApp DP (keep changing)

When you have a good photographer boyfriend – Keep changing WhatsApp DPs

Photo of you with your loved ones – FB

Photo of you alone / lonely / deep in thought – Insta

Photo of you in a party with family – FB

Photo of you in a party with gym dude and aerobics girl – Insta

Photo of you sitting next to the window in the plane – FB

Photo taken of outside from that window – Insta

Memes – FB

Motivational / ‘Keep calm’ quotes – WhatsApp DP

Quotations of famous people in artistic cursive fonts- Insta

63. Five Different Courses

Venue: National Institute of Life Skills. Time: 7 pm.

Social Media Usage:

The teacher is explaining a home assignment: “Ask your friends and family members about what type of personal information they have shared lately on social media. Then find out where they shared it - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, WhatsApp or some other platform? Bring your survey to class next Friday for a discussion.”

Party Politics:

The students are learning how to create tentative budgets for election campaigns.

Family Management

On the board:

Today’s Question: What type of compromises are expected from a newlywed husband or wife?

Office Dynamics

Participants are playing a game to practice spreading rumour more effectively. The rules are written on the board.

(On the board)

1. Ask another person about three important events of her/his life. 

2. Make up a fourth fictitious event.

3. Tell others all four and ask them to guess which is false.

4. For every correct guess you get -1.

Time Management

The students are seeing a video about the symptoms, treatment and preventive measures for Lastminutepanicosis.

62. The Suitable DP

Class teaching (Social Media Usage, Paper I – Principles of Profiles)

Teacher: “Your Display Picture in a social media account is not just for identification. It often has a much deeper meaning.”

(On the board)

Features of a DP

A) You consider yourself to be an intelligent, thinking person who has seen life and has known suffering, then look away from the camera in your Facebook DP.

B) You think you mean business and others do not and you will do what you want and the society cannot stop you, then look straight at the camera for your DP.

C) You are yet to figure out the purpose of your existence, then use pictures of other objects or living beings.

NOTE: The reasoning behind using photos of celebrities for DPs is still not properly understood.

Teacher: “For Twitter, the situation is slightly different.”

(On the board)

If your content is politically correct and socially acceptable, show your face in Twitter.

If not, then do not.

Remember: Tweets are often sent under influence of rage, alcohol or one true love.

57. Help Your Friend

Class Assignment (Case Study Session, Social Media Usage)

Do the following with three different partners in class:

1. Interview your partner about her/his self-image. Note down what she/he wants people to think about her/him.

2. Analyze your partner’s Facebook profile and deduce how many of the above noted self-image characters are actually manifested there.

3. Make a report on your observation. Include your suggestions for modifications. The goal is that your partner’s Facebook profile should give the exact image that she/he has described during the interview.

4. Share your report and your thoughts with your partner.

5. Receive similar suggestions and report from your partner.

50. Mind Your Language

Teacher’s lecture (Social Media Usage, Paper III – Basic Writing Skills)

“Both content and language matter in a post. You have all heard about content being the king. But the king needs to sit on a throne.

"Language is that throne. If the throne is not imposing, the king has no respect.

"Similarly, if your language does not comply with some acceptable criteria, your content will be literally lost in translation.

"In India there is another layer of complication in the form of the script used for writing. Are you writing Indian languages with Roman letters or in Indian script?

"The following is a list of different writing possibilities in India in decreasing order of social acceptance.

(Applicable to Facebook status, comments, tweets, Instagram comments, Whatsapp group messages etc.)

    1.       (Most acceptable) English comments written with English/Roman script.

    

    2.       Indian language comments written with English script.

    

    3.       Indian language comments written with Indian script.

    

    4.       Indian language comments with grammatical mistakes.

    

    5.       English comments with grammatical mistakes.

    

    6.       English comments written using short/SMS forms (eg. U hd a wndrfl hairct)

    

    7.       (Least acceptable) Indian comments written using short/SMS forms. Nobody understands them.

"Use the most acceptable forms to write your own comments and use the least acceptable ones to make somebody’s profile look bad.”