177. Hard Choices

A husband and a wife are talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course and they are discussing the question paper of the examination.

Husband: You are being completely irrational.

Wife: How so?

Husband: You are mixing academics with emotion. They are completely separate things.

Wife: Excuse me! But from your selection of questions in the exam it seems to me you have some very specific ideas.

Husband: It was an exam! I had to write whichever was easier.

Wife: Then please explain how it is so easy for you describe the methods of marrying a girl from another religion?

Husband: It is easy because we have learnt that in class.

Wife: You learnt in class how to marry another girl?

Husband: Theoretically, of course.

Wife: No, seriously. They taught you how to marry people outside your own religion and family?

Husband: Wait a second, now. They taught us the best way to tackle an inter-religious marriage. There was nothing about marrying someone else while you are already married.

Wife: This is why you were attending classes so regularly. I understand now.

Husband: I was attending the classes because you were pushing me to. I had no interests in sitting in a boring family course day after day.

Wife: I sent you there to learn about methods of peaceful coexistence with uncooperative in-laws. In case you do not understand, I am talking about your parents.

Husband: I understand perfectly, thank you. That was also taught in class. You have seen the notes.

Wife: Then why did you not answer that question? There was a question about how to deal with extended family members with minimal effort.

Husband: That was a difficult questions. There would be too many variables and missing any of them could cost me marks.

Wife: Oh I see. It is difficult for you to write about your family. But it is easy for you to write on how to marry a young girl.

(Husband picks up a paper and starts writing)

Wife: What are you writing?

Husband: An authorization letter for you. Now you can write the remaining three papers instead of me. I am out of this.

160. Freedom and Drama

A husband and a wife are talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course.

Husband: Here, see these. A declaration and a consent form.

Wife: What are these for?

Husband: Both are from my class at NILS. The declaration is from a girl who has just broken off her wedding. She had some serious commitment phobia to begin with and had been postponing her wedding to her boyfriend for four years now. But now she has called it off.

Wife: Yes, you told me about her. She came under the influence of another classmate – a married woman – who told her that marriage is a horrible thing.

Husband: Not only influenced, but semi brainwashed. And now she had been saying that the course had convinced her that married life is bullshit. The teacher wanted to wash his hands off and asked the girl to give it in writing that this is her personal decision entirely.

Wife: This declaration is her writing?

Husband: Yes. Read it. She says that she has taken the decision herself and was not influenced by anybody.

Wife: What are you doing with this?

Husband: She gave a copy to everyone in class.

Wife: What? Is she crazy?

Husband: No. She is free. At least that is what she believes.

Wife: I see. And what is this consent form about?

Husband: There is a script writer in our class. She writes for TV series. She is so fascinated by our course that she wants to write a series based on a family management course and its participants. And she wants to incorporate bits of all our backgrounds in the story. With changed names of course. The consent form is for that.

Wife: She wants to write a story on the course?

Husband: Not just a story. She says if she brings in all that she has seen and learnt in five months in class and adds to them the various stories of the family backgrounds of participants, then she has a story to last a couple of seasons at least, if not the whole series.

Wife (surprised): Really? What did she find so fascinating about the course?

Husband (shrugging): Beats me!

130. Moral Duties and Reasonable Expectations

A married couple is talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course. The wife is showing a piece of class handout to the husband.

Wife: Have you seen this exercise? There is a catch in this.

Husband: Which exercise?

Wife: This one (gives him the paper). On parents.

Husband: Moral duties to and reasonable expectations from parents. Yes, I remember this. But this is not an exercise. This is just a list of guidelines on what one should do and what one can expect as long as parents are involved.

Wife: Which means you have read nothing. There are two different situations here and the guidelines are meant for both situations. Some guidelines suit both, but many are particular to either one of the situations.

Husband: What situations?

Wife: There is a question here right on the top. See. Are your parents your core family or your expected family? Everything that comes after that depends on that answer. If you consider your parents as a part of your core family then you have a set of duties and returns. If extended, then a different set of obligations and expectations.

Husband: Okay. Then let’s find our situation. Are my parents extended or core?

Wife: You say.

Husband: Extended, I would say.

Wife: We have a joint kitchen.

Husband: Then core.

Wife: Our finances are separate and we live in different floors.

Husband: Hmm. I see.

(After a few minutes)

Husband: Okay, this is really a tricky question.

Wife: I told you there is a catch. And all your duties and expectations depend on that one answer. Do you consider them as core or as extension?

126. Helpful Classmates

A married couple are talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course at his wife’s insistence. They are talking about today’s class on Compromises.

Husband: There were so many arguments that the class went on till 8.45. And the same topic is supposed to be continued next day.

Wife: Arguments or discussions?

Husband: Both. One leading to the other.

Wife: Everybody is scared to make compromises, I guess…

Husband: There are all types. There is this girl who is so scared of making compromises that she had been pushing off her wedding for the last four years.

Wife: Four years? That’s a long time. Is there a fixed guy?

Husband: Yes, she has a fixed boyfriend and that guy has been waiting for four years it seems. Problem is, they are both very outgoing and adventurous. Goes for trekking, snorkeling and stuff. Now she thinks marriage will stop all that.

Wife: For her or for both?

Husband: Now, that is the real problem. She used to think it would stop for both as they might have to settle down and have kids. But now she thinks that he will go about doing what he wants while she will have to sit at home.

Wife: Why the change of heart?

Husband: Because of another participant in the class. This one is a married woman and she thinks family life sucks. She has to make most of the compromises and look after her husband’s family while the husband hardly comes home before late evening and does nothing for the household.

Wife: So this married woman has made the trekker girl nervous?

Husband: Nervous is an understatement. The girl is completely convinced that marriage will be a horrible idea for her and she thanked that woman openly in class for saving her life. She also said that it was this course that finally convinced her that she was right about not marrying.

Wife: There goes a wedding down the drain.

Husband: Absolutely. Now the teacher got nervous because the girl was openly announcing that the course has inspired her to break off her marriage.

Wife: What nonsense!

Husband: Wait till you hear the last part. The teacher insisted that the girl should give it in writing that any decision she is going to make about her family life is her own and not influenced directly by any NILS faculty.

Wife: Really?

Husband: Yes, Madam. And that discussion went on till 8.45 and to be continued next day.

108. Trust Issues

A married couple is talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course, mostly as a result of his wife’s insistence.

Wife (reading the cover of a book): Basics of Book Keeping. Where did you get this book from?

Husband: From the NILS library of course.

Wife: Why?

Husband: Because I want to learn book keeping and financial planning for my family.

Wife: Why do you need a book for that?

Husband: Because I have never learnt accounting of any kind. We were taught some basic family finances in class last week and then the teacher said we are going to do some projects and observation assignments on family planning. So, I thought…

Wife: Project on family planning? What on earth is that? And what observation?

Husband: I meant financial planning for a family. Not making a family (rolls eyes). We are going to learn how to keep systematic accounts of family assets and liabilities.

Wife: And you thought the only way to do that is by learning from a book and do it yourself?

Husband: What is the problem? Why are you so upset?

Wife: Upset? Your wife is a commerce graduate who works in a bank and you try to learn finances from a book but don't ask me to teach you instead. You have no trust in me.

Husband: Where is this coming from?

Wife: From this bloody book. This is so shocking! You have absolutely no trust in my capabilities. It never occured to you that I could do the financial planning of the family myself. That I have professional training.

Husband: If you are so confident about your accounting skills, then why haven’t you ever – I mean ever – tried to keep any accounts of our expenditures?

Wife: Because I knew you would not trust me with it. And see, how right I was.

87. A Good Man

A married couple are talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course, mostly on his wife’s behalf. They are discussing about the Family Politics class from Sunday (for reference, see post 86).

Husband: To put it simply, the fight with your in-laws will be simpler if you are in an arranged marriage.

Wife: Why do you say that?

Husband: The teacher said that, not me. I am just repeating.

Wife: So it is easy for me to handle your parents. That is what you think?

Husband: Look, do not change the topic. This is not about handling my parents, it is about fighting with my parents. And I just taught you some good arguments to use against them.

Wife: Oh, really?

Husband: Of course! I am not taking my parents’ side darling, I am taking your side.

Wife: What is that argument again?

Husband: If things go really bad and if they actually say that you are a lousy daughter-in-law, then you can always tell them that if you are lousy at managing the household, then they were no less lousy in picking a wife for their son. Because they chose you.

Wife: You think this argument will work?

Husband: I don’t see why not.

Wife: You mean to say that the best way to fight with your parents is to accept that I am actually lousy at taking care of my household?

Husband (after a three seconds delay): I never said that.

Wife: You better not.

75. Gifts People Give

A married couple is talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course at NILS on his wife’s behalf. They are discussing a homework on ideal gift items for family members.

Husband: Show me your homework.

Wife: Here. Show me yours.

(Both exchange handwritten pages)

Husband: Yours are different than mine.

Wife: Obviously. You have selected wrong gifts for different purposes. Haven’t you read the notes?

Husband: What notes? The classnotes? Those are meant for you to read.

Wife: I don’t know how you can write them and not read them at the same time. Anyway, you are supposed to give cheap gifts to people living in small nuclear families and expensive gifts to people in large joint families.

Husband: Why?

Wife: Because in a joint family a lot of people will get to see what you have given as gifts. Expensive gifts will make you look good. And in joint families people often sit together and open gifts in front of others.

Husband: And for nuclear families other people do not get to see the gifts?

Wife: How will people see? The gifts will be opened later at home with only a handful of family members around. And unless they are very bitchy, they will not complain about inexpensive gifts.

Husband: And even if they complain, it will make them look bad and not us.

Wife: Yes. Now you are learning things.

72. During The Break

(For more information on the people below, please click on the labels at the end)

The Batchmates

The boy from Party Politics and the girl from Social Media are standing at the glass window at the end of the second floor corridor, between the classrooms of Office Dynamics and Work-Life Balancing. The boy is holding a folded newspaper and explaining some news to the girl. The girl is showing a look of intent interest every time the guy is looking up at her.

The Daughter

The daughter is sitting in her classroom for Time Management on the second floor and talking to a girl of similar age. They both have a chart with the title “Invisible Time Records” in front of them and seem to be having a discussing about the topic. On the chart in front of the other girl the words “Total 4.5 hours” are written in red ink.

The Married Ones

The man and the woman are standing next to the water cooler at the canteen. The man is leaning against a wall with a light smile on his face. The woman is showing him something on her mobile. Her face is slightly red.

The Husband

The husband is standing in the corridor outside his Family Management classroom on the second floor and talking to his wife on phone. He has just suggested that he will take her out for dinner. But to his dismay, instead of being overjoyed his wife is now asking if this proposal was a kind of home assignment given in class.

The Office Guy

The colleague from the Office Dynamics course is in the library. He is issuing a book called, “Safety 101: How Not to Trust Anyone”.

5. Applicants

Father and daughter

F: The courses can be quite expensive. Have you made enquiries about the course fee?

D: They are not that expensive. I know.

F: You do not know, you think.

D: My friends have done it. I know. You always say time is money. So, now I want to invest some money to learn time management.

F: That is a bad excuse. I still think if you had to do it, you should have gone for the office course. That would help you.

D: That is like too specific, dad. To job oriented. The time management is a general purpose course. And this is exactly what I need. I am always running out of time, especially on the college days.

F: Then look for a course that teaches you to wake up early.

At home

Wife: This will really help us, you know? This family handling. Remember, just the other day we were talking about how family is sometimes more difficult than work?

Husband: Yes. Not only my side of the family, by the way. Yours too.

Wife: But you do not need to deal with my family as much as I have to do with yours. I need this more than you.

Husband: Alright. Then apply.

Wife: It is a half year course. When do I have the time? 

Husband: You just said you wanted to!

Wife: I said we need it. So, you can join and teach me later. It is the same thing, na? We can share the course fee fifty-fifty.

Husband: So generous! And when do I have the time?

Wife: After office, when I am doing our kids' homework. There are only evening classes and very less pressure. I did that workday breakfast crash course last year from NILS, have you forgotten already? That was easy. The exam at the end was very easy too.

Husband: Breakfast and family are not the same. And we eat only toasts everyday anyway. A fine help that course turned out to be!