166. A Father's Joy

A father and a daughter are talking at home.

Daughter: Here. I have done your work.

Father: You have made a daily schedule for me?

Daughter: Yes. Have a look. (Gives him a paper)

Father (after reading the paper): You suggest that I should meet my chess friends in the morning instead of in the evening?

Daughter: Yes. That means you will be meeting those friends right after you finish reading the newspapers. So you can discuss with them what you read in the papers and how the country is going to hell. That way me and mom won’t have to endure that anymore.

Father: My chess friends are far better and far more intelligent discussion partners than you and your mother. So, yes, I accept this plan. But that means I have nothing to do in the evenings.

Daughter: Not at all. You can go to the market, go for a walk and read books. Then you will not need to interact with us and everyone will be at peace.

Father: It is impossible to read even any moderately accomplished literature with you and your mother constantly bickering in the background.

Daughter: Then read at night. When both of us are silent.

Father: I can think about that. (Looking at the page). What is this activity that you have added? Opinions about family members from 9:30 to 10 pm?

Daughter: You can vent your anger and criticism about me and mom between 9:30 and 10 pm everyday.

Father: To whom?

Daughter: To me.

Father: Let me get this straight. You are saying that you will be available everyday for half an hour to listen to what I think about you and your mother?

Daughter: Yes, you can rant and criticise as much as you want during that time. But you should avoid doing it during the day.

Father (looking at the plan): I am hardly interacting with you two during the day.

Daughter: That was the plan.

Father: Fantastic. I really like this.

Daughter: But I am not going to give my precious time just like that. You have to make a contract with me and pay me on a weekly basis. If you stop payment, I will stop listening to your opinions.

Father: Acceptable. We can work out the details. (Gives the paper back to daughter). Very nice. I am impressed. How soon can we start?

Daughter: As soon as we have discussed the amount you have to pay to make me sit and listen to you.