112. The Educated Stalker

Class Teaching (Social Media Usage, Paper II – Information Sharing and Searching)

Teacher: “Obsession forms the foundation of stalking. To be an effective stalker, you should have a strong obsession and a sound legal mind.

“If you are not obsessed enough, you will miss a lot of thrill and if you do not possess enough legal knowledge, you will miss a lot of freedom.

“Do not be afraid to stalk, though. It is perfectly fine as long as you know you are probably end up going to harm someone and consequently be beaten up, bring disgrace to your family and spend prison time.

“In order to guess what might come your way, you should be able to ascertain your correct Stalker-level and act accordingly.

“The first level is the Level of Watchfulness. You are doing your regular rounds of social media, but about forty percent of your total activity is directly or indirectly associated with one person. This stage is not harmful to either of the parties involved. If you are good at lying, you can come out in flying colours even if caught red handed.

“The second level is the Level of Tunnel-Vision. In this level about eighty percent of your activity centres around a particular person. This means you have a lot of information about the daily life of that person, which other people either do not know or do not care to remember. There is a serious chance of getting caught if you are not careful while talking about the said person. If caught, people will think of you as too nosey and slightly pervert. The said person may break off all contact.

“If you have any wish of living a respectable life, do not proceed beyond level two. If you have to ask someone what respectable means, read on.

“The third level is the Level of Immersion. This is the level where the boundary between virtual and real is ruptured and your real life has started to be influenced by that person. Without his or her knowledge, you have been visiting the same places, watching the same movies, listening to the same songs and saving photos, a lot of photos. Chances of detection is very high because your sudden disappearance from all other social circles including friends and family will be noticed. If caught, you will be considered a perverted creep and suitable for psychiatric therapy. To avoid that: maintain a social life, even if it bores you. Remember, you are no more a good citizen and you need some protection.

“The fourth level is the Level of Exaltation. Your life has ceased any meaning without the association of that person. Sooner or later, you will be caught. Disgrace or ridicule is not your problem anymore, you are beyond that. Your problem is law and order. Because, when you are caught, you will be considered as a possible sex offender or murderer. Have a good lawyer. Even better, read up some law books when you are not following that person. Then you do what you were born to do before your time is up.”