131. Paper II Project Titles

Titles of some of the Paper II projects submitted by the students are given below.

Second Papers:

Social Media Usage: Information Sharing and Searching

Party Politics: Elections

Family Management: Newlyweds

Office Dynamics: Rumours and Gossips

Time Management: Priority Analysis

Project Titles:

The First Three Hours (Newlyweds, Family Management)

Things about Me Facebook Does Not Know (Information Sharing and Searching, Social Media Usage)

My Family, Your Family and Our Family (Newlyweds, Family Management)

Spreading His Words (Priority Analysis, Time Management)

It Always Gets Worse (Rumours and Gossips, Office Dynamics)

The Rainy Day Anomaly (Priority Analysis, Time Management)

Most Effective Attire for Daytime Campaigning (Elections, Party Politics)

Now That I Have Won (Elections, Party Politics)

Nighttime Ghost-sightings at Workplaces (Rumours and Gossips, Office Dynamics)

Difference between Stalking and Commitment to One True Love (Information Sharing and Searching, Social Media Usage)

130. Moral Duties and Reasonable Expectations

A married couple is talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course. The wife is showing a piece of class handout to the husband.

Wife: Have you seen this exercise? There is a catch in this.

Husband: Which exercise?

Wife: This one (gives him the paper). On parents.

Husband: Moral duties to and reasonable expectations from parents. Yes, I remember this. But this is not an exercise. This is just a list of guidelines on what one should do and what one can expect as long as parents are involved.

Wife: Which means you have read nothing. There are two different situations here and the guidelines are meant for both situations. Some guidelines suit both, but many are particular to either one of the situations.

Husband: What situations?

Wife: There is a question here right on the top. See. Are your parents your core family or your expected family? Everything that comes after that depends on that answer. If you consider your parents as a part of your core family then you have a set of duties and returns. If extended, then a different set of obligations and expectations.

Husband: Okay. Then let’s find our situation. Are my parents extended or core?

Wife: You say.

Husband: Extended, I would say.

Wife: We have a joint kitchen.

Husband: Then core.

Wife: Our finances are separate and we live in different floors.

Husband: Hmm. I see.

(After a few minutes)

Husband: Okay, this is really a tricky question.

Wife: I told you there is a catch. And all your duties and expectations depend on that one answer. Do you consider them as core or as extension?

129. Syllabus for Priority Analysis

Part of the syllabus of Paper II (Priority Analysis), Time Management Course

(…)

3. Obligatory priorities – Definition and extent of obligatory priorities: spouse’s demands, parents’ expectations, sibling’s competitive challenges, friend’s plea of help, employer’s wishes. Rank and file of priorities. Discarding obligatory priorities based on the social status of the obligator.

4. Acting on priorities – Relationship between performing and claiming to have performed. Models based on proportionate divisions of the same. Substantiation of False Claims. Non-executionary priorities – definition, examples and explanation of why there are no needs to act on such priorities. Concept of Eternal Pending.

(…)

6. Daily priorities – Importance index of family, friends and acquaintances. Relationship between priority and time of day. Weekday and weekend priorities. Concept of self-satisfaction and self-centeredness.

7. Hindering agents – concept of everybody else as a hindrance. Own priorities, polluting priorities and impurities. Structure and components of  obstacle courses. (…)

128. Syllabus for Anger Management and Frustration Handling

Part of the syllabus of Paper IV (Anger Management and Frustration Handling), Office Dynamics Course

1. Anger – definition and general introduction. Cause and effect. Subject, object and action.  Image analysis of an angry young man. Stages of anger: hidden, barely aware, cohabitant, nagging, pricking, bleeding, bursting, exploding, suicidal, homicidal and genocidal. Anger at office space. Difference between Spouse and Boss. The growth of anger: the Snowballing Principal. Expression of Anger – Merits and demerits of diplomacy and hypocrisy. Insubordination of the Subordinate Act. 

2. Frustration - Concepts of inability, incapability and intolerance. Theories of Specific and General Worthlessness. Image analysis of a frustrated old man. The Hope – Time bell curve. Frustration at home and work. Frustration as a hobby. Sharing frustration: with professionals, with caring friends, with bored friends. Bringing office frustration at home. Steps of getting a divorce lawyer. Models of Dying Alone. 

(…)

5. Resignation – Definition and history. Formats of a resignation letter or mail. Verbal resignation. Storming out. Threats of resignation: risk assessment and execution. Negotiation with resignation: point of no return; overestimation of self; underestimation of HR. (…) Structure of society – difficulties of living life without money.

(...)

127. Never Asked the Right Questions

A father and a daughter are talking at home. The daughter is attending the Time Management course at NILS.

Father: Are you only going to do this NILS course or will you also carry on with your regular studies? You said you wanted to do a management diploma from some distance learning university.

Daughter: That course will start from April next year, form will be available from December. I will tell you when the time comes. I have not forgotten anything.

Father: That is assuring to know.

Daughter: And I am going to join as a Yoga instructor from January.

Father (surprised): Instructor? Where?

Daughter (rolling eyes): In a Yoga center, of course.

Father: Insturctor means trainer, right? They get paid.

Daughter: Of course they get paid. I will be paid too.

Father: You never told me that you are going to earn from January.

Daughter: You never asked.

Father: What else I did not ask?

Daughter (with a sigh and a shrug): I am going to be a Yoga trainer from January, want to join the management diploma from April and want to help two friends with their online startup from September.

Father: Help?

Daughter: They will pay me some for my services. I will do market research for them every three months.

Father (after a while): How on earth are you suddenly going to handle so much simultaneously?

Daughter: Why else do you think I wanted to do a course on time management?

Father: Don’t tell me they are trying to teach you how to cope with all that.

Daugther: I would tell you exactly that, but you won’t believe me anyway.

Father: Once again, you never told me your intentions when you joined the NILS course.

Daughter: One again, you never asked me.

126. Helpful Classmates

A married couple are talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course at his wife’s insistence. They are talking about today’s class on Compromises.

Husband: There were so many arguments that the class went on till 8.45. And the same topic is supposed to be continued next day.

Wife: Arguments or discussions?

Husband: Both. One leading to the other.

Wife: Everybody is scared to make compromises, I guess…

Husband: There are all types. There is this girl who is so scared of making compromises that she had been pushing off her wedding for the last four years.

Wife: Four years? That’s a long time. Is there a fixed guy?

Husband: Yes, she has a fixed boyfriend and that guy has been waiting for four years it seems. Problem is, they are both very outgoing and adventurous. Goes for trekking, snorkeling and stuff. Now she thinks marriage will stop all that.

Wife: For her or for both?

Husband: Now, that is the real problem. She used to think it would stop for both as they might have to settle down and have kids. But now she thinks that he will go about doing what he wants while she will have to sit at home.

Wife: Why the change of heart?

Husband: Because of another participant in the class. This one is a married woman and she thinks family life sucks. She has to make most of the compromises and look after her husband’s family while the husband hardly comes home before late evening and does nothing for the household.

Wife: So this married woman has made the trekker girl nervous?

Husband: Nervous is an understatement. The girl is completely convinced that marriage will be a horrible idea for her and she thanked that woman openly in class for saving her life. She also said that it was this course that finally convinced her that she was right about not marrying.

Wife: There goes a wedding down the drain.

Husband: Absolutely. Now the teacher got nervous because the girl was openly announcing that the course has inspired her to break off her marriage.

Wife: What nonsense!

Husband: Wait till you hear the last part. The teacher insisted that the girl should give it in writing that any decision she is going to make about her family life is her own and not influenced directly by any NILS faculty.

Wife: Really?

Husband: Yes, Madam. And that discussion went on till 8.45 and to be continued next day.

125. Usage Patterns

A handout given in class (Social Media Usage, Paper V – Life on Social Media)

Social Media Usage Patterns

Usage and dependence related to social media varies from person to person. It might also vary for the same person over time. 

Checking notifications are not considered as active usage.

The following patterns of usage (or dependence) are generally observed:

1. Day and Night: The person uses social media extensively for a prolonged period of time and then stays away from all social media for a similarly long period of time.

2. Chess: The person is using social media on and off in short intervals and from different devices like office computer, mobile, personal laptop etc.

3. Zebra: Similar to Day and Night but the periods are much shorter, mostly alternate hours.

4. Polka Dots: There can be two variations. In one, the background is real life and the social media activities appear as bubbles in them. In the second variation, the social media forms the continuous background while real life shows through small bubbles.

5. Starry Sky: An extreme version of Polka Dots. The second variation of Starry Sky demands emergency treatment.

124. From January and April

A meeting at the Principal’s office. The attendees are the Principle, his secretary, the NILS Zonal Head (Academics), NILS Zonal Head (Accounts), NILS Zonal Head (Management).

Head (Accounts): Do we have enough interested parties for a course on music appreciation?

Principal: A music school and two high schools with music departments have approached me. They want the parents to take up such a course to encourage their children.

Head (Academics): The parents of children who learn classical music are the target group.

Head (Accounts): And some participation is guaranteed through the schools?

Principal: Nothing in writing, but practically speaking, yes.

Head (Accounts): Then let’s go ahead with the music appreciation crash course from next April.

Head (Academics): It is called Understanding Classical Music to make it sound more informal.

Principal: Yes, then that is confirmed. We have another crash course on buying cars. It is called A-Z of Having a Car.

Head (Management): Please make sure you are not endorsing any specific brands.

Principal: I will give you the names of the faculty. We are looking at 4-6 teachers. Three have confirmed.

Head (Management): Fine, I will write to them.

Head (Academics): Then both crash courses are confirmed from next April.

Principal: Now, coming to the six month courses, we have zeroed in on two new courses and one repeat. We have talked to experts and we can proceed with the formalities if you all agree. The new courses are Creating a Startup and Savings and Investments. We are planning to repeat Social Media Usage.

Head (Academics): I read your proposals on all three. Fine with me.

Head (Accounts): All three are popular courses. Fine with me.

Head (Management): No issues.

Principal: Thank you. That means we have three long and two short courses. We can accommodate two more long courses.

Head (Academics): How about one on the share market?

Head (Accounts): The City-Parkside branch did a course on share market recently. They are going to repeat it next year. They have got good response.

Principal: I would suggest that we have this share market course from July and not from January. With a course on Investment and a course on Startups, we are already a little heavy on the business and commerce side. Adding share market to that might be too much.

Head (Management): I agree. Another course at Parkside that did really well was on parenting.

Head (Academics): Financially, yes. But I was not happy with the content. They dealt with parents of children between 3-14 and focused entirely on the upper middle class background with children from high-security gated communities. I have put in a note that the syllabus needs reconsideration.

Head (Accounts): How about childbirth? A course on childbirth and related complications and challenges.

Head (Marketing): Make it childbirth and baby parenting.

Head (Accounts): Baby parenting? Is that even a term?

Head (Academics): We will come up with some terms if need be. But I like the idea. Let us plan it this way: a six month course that deals with six most important months of a mother’s life. Three months before and three months after the childbirth.

Principal: We can do the course in chronological order with a prenatal and a neonatal phase. First three months will be prenatal and last three months will be neonatal.

Head (Management): Include a special childbirth session after three months. Make it an open session for public for nominal charges.

Principal: Sounds good. Let’s look at the finances…

123. Notice for Party Politics Course Students

Workshop for Students of Party Politics Course 

A workshop on Writing Political Graffiti will be held at the NILS on Wednesday, 31^st October, 2018.

The workshop will cover areas such as types of walls, types of paints, stenciling, drawing party symbols, night time painting, torch light painting etc.

This workshop is free for Party Politics students and chargeable (Rs.100/-) for other students of NILS.

122. It Wasn't Me!

Two colleagues are talking in office. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS. They are discussing a homework.

A: Is this a homework for the application session?

B: No this is for the fifth paper, Blame and Blame Transfer. It is due on Thursday.

A: So I have to blame someone else for a mistake that I have made?

B: Two mistakes. You have to recall your last two mistakes or goof-ups at work and make up an argument that puts the blame on someone else.

A: Last two mistakes? Hmm. Both will have to be mine?

B: No, let’s share. Say one mine and one yours?

A: Fair enough. Then I will develop an argument against my last goof-up, an argument that will prove that it was somebody else’s mistake.

B: Yes. Then I will present your and my arguments in class on Thursday and others will try to find faults in them. If nobody can refute the argument, then it stays. Everybody will do the same and finally we will have a list of arguments for blame-transfer that cannot be easily refuted. Finally we can generalize them to be used in any situation.

A: That should give us a directory of methods to put blames on others.

B: Exactly.

A: Good. Good stuff.

121. Topics for Today

The topics being taught in the classrooms at this moment:

Social Media Usage – Paper IV; Fundamentals of Chatting

“Conveying uneasiness through reply-time”

Party Politics – Paper IV; Ideology Blindness and Righteousness

“Looking for faults in opposition party’s actions”

Family Management – Paper IV; Family Politics

“Conditional reconciliation”

Office Dynamics – Paper IV; Anger Management and Frustration Handling

“The wall at the end of the tunnel”

Time Management – Paper IV, Micro Management

“Advantages of long commute time”

Work-Life Balancing – Paper III; Work-Life Equilibrium

“Salient features and properties of a Saturday evening”

English for Chatting – Paper III, Chatting in English

“The correct use of myself”

120. Checklist for Local Political Leaders

Handout given in class (Party Politics, Paper III – Introduction to Daily Politics)

Checklist for local male political 

leaders/functionaries/power seekers in India :

- 40 inch waist

- Three mobile phones

- An old motorcycle not used anymore, but lent for free to assistants, helping hands etc.

- Metal frame watch, preferably golden

- White sports shoes

- A towel handkerchief

- Unending supply of Indian clothes

- Ability to talk in a slow tempo with a loud voice

- Refusing sweets in the name of diet or diabetes

- Young and unemployed party helpers waiting in front of the house whole day

- SUV (never drive, but sit in front)

119. How It Should Have Been

Class Teaching (Time Management, Paper II – Priority Analysis)

Teacher: “There is often a large difference between ideal priority and the actual priority.

“It has been seen multiple times in history that people have not considered carrying out what should have been their utmost priority. Instead they have done something vastly different and at times paid a huge price for doing so.

“And this trend is not restricted merely to human beings, it is also found in the course of major social events and organizations.

“Here are a few examples.”

On the board

	Ideal Priority (what should have been the priority)	Actual Priority (What actually happened/happens)
People
Julius Caesar	Spending time with Cleopatra	Spending time with Brutus
Adolph Hitler	Enjoying the fruits of his Empire and designing more cars for VW	Attacking in all four directions while trying to avoid a two-front war
Diego Maradona	Playing football	Playing handball
Kurt Cobain	Singing	Shooting
Organizations, events or institutions
Hollywood	Functioning as a Film Industry	Functioning as a CGI Lab
The Internet	Offering information to users through search engines	Gathering information from users through social media
The British Empire	Ruling the world	Fighting Germany
Religion	Opening the gates of Heaven	Bringing hell on earth

118. The Health of the Husband

A male participant from the Family Management course is trying to convince a female participant to attend another course with him next year. They are both married. But not to each other.

Man: I have some inside information about some of the next courses. Not all, but some.

Woman: Are you sure you want to do this?

Man: This is not something that I do alone. Either we both do another course or none.

Woman: Still, there has to be something meaningful. I have to tell my husband which course I am doing. I mean, I cannot simply enroll myself for a course on party politics. He will know something is wrong.

Man: Why are you so afraid of him?

Woman: Not afraid, but careful. If I am going to join a course just to spend time with you AND want my husband to finance that course, then the least I can do is be a little careful.

Man: Are you feeling guilty?

Woman: Let’s not talk about that.

Man: No, I am saying that you have no reason to feel guilty. It is not like he…

Woman: Can we not talk about that? Tell me which courses they have from January.

Man: As you wish. Two courses are confirmed. One is on Creating a Startup and the other one is Savings and Investments. Both are for six months and both start in January.

Woman: And both are useless to me.

Man: Well, then they are repeating the Social Media Usage course from January. Interested?

Woman: Not much. But better than the other two.

Man: There is also a crash course on Understanding Classical Music, but it starts from April.

Woman: Not really my thing. That’s all?

Man: For this branch, yes.  The City-East branch is offering the Time Management course from January. It is the same as the one going on here. Then it is also offering two crash courses on dieting. Both are for three months. One is called Diet for a Working Professional and the other is called Diet for a Family. Good thing, they can be done one after the other. That way, six months total.

Woman: A course on dieting sounds good. I could do that. But the City-East branch of NILS is further away from my home than this one. That is a problem.

Man: Problem? It is perfect! I get to spend more time with you on the road and your husband gets to eat healthy food.