19. Creators-in-law

From And Then They Lived by Gayatri Pathak (Suggested Reading, Family Management, Paper II – Newlyweds)

Our parents make us, in body and soul. Looking at the creators one can understand the creation.

Your parents-in-law can tell you a lot about the person you just married if you know what to look for. 

For the newlywed wife:

Observe your mother-in-law closely and imagine her handling a child in different situations. See how she treats other people’s children at home and outside. This will give you a fairly good idea whether your husband is a reasonably capable human being or a good-for-nothing grown up crybaby.

Observe the daily activities of your father-in-law. Does he still

 i) go to the market and grocery stores,

ii) handle the service people (milkman, paper guy, labourers) and

iii) operate the family bank account(s)?

If the answers are yes, then your husband might have deep seated confidence issues which he may try to overcome by attempting to make every decision of your joint life.

For the newlywed husband:

Observe your mother-in-law. This is a woman your wife will never turn into, sometimes by failure but more often deliberately. Do not go searching for the reason. That is not for you to understand. Just know that the daughter, for better or worse, will never be like the mother.

Observe your father-in-law to ascertain the expectations your wife has from you. If you think that means having a successful career and being a good husband and father, you have not got it at all. It is secretly desired that you will be able to rekindle in your wife that same feeling of magical hero worshiping which a man had created years ago for his starry-eyed pre-teen daughter. Only now that daughter is a grown up woman and mostly as mature in age as you.