80. Different Parts of The Brain

A father and his daughter are talking at home. The daughter is attending the Time Management course at NILS.

Daughter: Are you having breakfast now?

Father: Yes, why?

Daughter: You cannot have it on the sofa. Come to the table.

Father: Why?

Daughter: I need to do an experiment. Please come here and sit at the table.

(The father looks worried, but moves over to the table.)

Daughter: Have you already read the newspaper?

Father: No. Why?

Daughter: You have to read it while eating your breakfast.

Father: Alright. Give me the paper.

(The daughter hands over the paper and switches on the TV to a news channel. She keeps the channel muted.)

Daughter: You are to read the sports news from the paper and follow the general news on TV.

Father: Simultaneously?

Daughter: Yes and keep eating your breakfast.

Father: What is going on?

Daughter: I am doing an experiment on Multitasking. It is in our syllabus.

Father: Multitasking is a common thing. What can you possibly learn in a course about it?

Daughter: We have learned how to optimize Multitasking. The trick is to use different processing parts of the brain simultaneously instead of overloading the same part. Which means you cannot do many similar tasks at the same time, but you can do many fundamentally different tasks.

Father: What types of different tasks?

Daughter: I have chosen five such tasks. First, eating. For that you are having breakfast. Second, reading. For that I have given you the newspaper. Third, observing. For that I have switched on the TV in mute.

Father: What are the other two?

Daughter: Listening and speaking. Now I will sit down and tell you a story about my friend. You have to listen to me and comment on it. But you cannot stop reading the paper or following the news.

Father: I am supposed to read a paper, watch news headlines, listen to your stories and comment on them? Am I mad?

Daughter: And eat breakfast. That’s it. This should be fairly easy. All are happening in different parts of the brain. Shall we start?

79. Not For The People

From a student’s notebook (Application Session, Party Politcs)

Left	Centre	Right
Hide personal wealth	Show personal wealth	Hide personal wealth but show family wealth
Speak in regional language	Speak in English	Speak in Hindi
People are more important than nation	Nothing really matters	Nation is more important than people
Wear cheap clothes	Wear expensive clothes	Wear traditional clothes, irrespective of price
Follow what the party says	Follow what a leader says	Follow what interpretations of scriptures say
Election: Poison	Election: Most important	Election: Needed to come to power. Then poison.
Be male	Be cunning	Be male
Committee	Parlament	Training Ground
Of the people	By the people	Of the people

78. On the Boards in Classrooms

On The Boards

Social Media Usage – Paper III, Basic Writing Skills

Homework: Write a “Share to 20 people in 10 minutes” text on war casualties.

Party Politics – Paper III, Introduction to Daily Politics

(Nothing on the board)

Family Management – Paper III, Core and Extended Family

The teacher is drawing two pairs of circles on the board. One pair is concentric and the other one is overlapping.

English for Chatting – Paper II, English Writing

it, you, they

its, your, their

it’s, you’re, they’re

Office Dynamics – Paper III, Working in Team

What are the different types of colleagues in a team?

Time Management – Paper III, Goal Setting

Today’s Topic:

Obstacles – demolish or climb?

Work-Life Balancing – Paper II, Space and Time

Survey: Are you happy with your allocated space at work?

Yes	No

77. The Four Lives

Classroom Teaching (Work-Life Balancing, Paper I – Work and Life)

Teacher: “Please note down the four different lives that we live.

“One, the work life, where you spend time to earn money.

“Two, the private life, where you spend time of your own volition with your near and dear ones.

“Three, the personal life, which is your me-time, the time you spend with yourself.

“And four, the unpaid work life, where you spend time doing chores or tasks for which you do not get paid. This include house chores among others.

“Your ultimate goal should be to reduce the duration of number 4 and increase that of number 2 + 3 as much as possible.

“And while doing that you should aim for an optimal duration for number 1. Which is the trickiest part.”

76. Consultations

In class (Social Media Usage, Paper I – Principles of Profiles)

Teacher: “The Paper I syllabus is nearly finished and there is only one more class on next Thursday. We have had twenty hours of lectures and discussions on the topic of Principles of Profiles.

“We have covered the basic structures and functions of profiles in social media. We have talked about the differences between reality and fantasy and compared different types of profiles.

“We have seen how by clever application of certain techniques it is possible for even complete losers to appear rich and famous.

“We have seen how a DP is what defines you in the larger world and how to keep changing your profiles with changing times. We have discussed about the value of your Facebook photo album in your lifestyle and future.

“We have covered theoretical topics such as pseudo-intellectual following, baby photo spams, unread motivational quotes, selfie frequency etc.

“During the last two months we have guided you to create the kind of social media profile that suits your own image of yourself. Naturally, it is never entirely realistic because all of us either overestimate or underestimate our own capabilities.

“However, it is important to create a perfect balance of reality and fantasy. Too much of one will eventually turn you into a laughing stock among your friends and family.

“In our last class of Paper I on next Thursday we are going to offer you free consultations. We will have private sessions with all of you, where we will have a look at your various online profiles and offer suggestions and advices for betterment.

“I am sure it will help you immensely to create your own profiles that will project you in a way that is much better than what you really are or ever will be.”

75. Gifts People Give

A married couple is talking at home. The husband is attending the Family Management course at NILS on his wife’s behalf. They are discussing a homework on ideal gift items for family members.

Husband: Show me your homework.

Wife: Here. Show me yours.

(Both exchange handwritten pages)

Husband: Yours are different than mine.

Wife: Obviously. You have selected wrong gifts for different purposes. Haven’t you read the notes?

Husband: What notes? The classnotes? Those are meant for you to read.

Wife: I don’t know how you can write them and not read them at the same time. Anyway, you are supposed to give cheap gifts to people living in small nuclear families and expensive gifts to people in large joint families.

Husband: Why?

Wife: Because in a joint family a lot of people will get to see what you have given as gifts. Expensive gifts will make you look good. And in joint families people often sit together and open gifts in front of others.

Husband: And for nuclear families other people do not get to see the gifts?

Wife: How will people see? The gifts will be opened later at home with only a handful of family members around. And unless they are very bitchy, they will not complain about inexpensive gifts.

Husband: And even if they complain, it will make them look bad and not us.

Wife: Yes. Now you are learning things.

74. Job or Love?

Two colleagues are talking at work. One of them is attending the Office Dynamics course at NILS.

A: Did you ask the teacher about me?

B: Yes. Did I have any other option?

A: Did he laugh at you?

B: Not he, she. No she did not laugh but looked at me curiously.

A: That is fine, don’t worry. What did you say?

B: I said that there is this colleague of mine who is in love with a girl in his office. But this girl happens to be the girlfriend of his supervisor. Lately he has seen them fighting quite a lot and the girl seems often pissed off with the supervisor.

A: Yes, you put it correctly.

B: Hmm. Then I asked the teacher if it will be a good idea for my colleague to make advances towards the girl taking chance of their relationship problems.

A: What did she say?

B: She asked me why you have not made any advances so far. I told her that the supervisor can be quite vindictive and the girl unpredictable.

A: She is under duress, not unpredictable.

B: Whatever. The teacher has given three criteria and you should try your luck with your girl if and only if all three criteria are satisfied.

A: What are they?

B: One, she must be at least generally aware of your existence in the office. Two, the supervisor must not have powerful friends outside the office. And three, your parents should have enough residual income to support you after you lose your job.

A: Should I just give up?

B: What do you want to give up? Job or love?

A: Love, man, love. Who ever gives up the job?

73. Time Aberrations

From Interpretation of Time by Zig Manfred (Suggested Reading, Time Management, Paper I – Task Time Relations) – FAQ section at the end of the book

Q. What are Time Aberrations?

A. Time Aberrations are differences between actual time and perceived time. When the actual time measured by a watch is more than the perceived time, that is, when time seems to flow fast, it is called contracted time and when the measured time is less than the perceived time, that is, when time seems to slow down, it is called dilated time.

Q. When does time contract and when does time dilate?

A. Time contracts when one is doing something one likes to do, when one is in a hurry and when one is in enjoyable company. Time dilates when one is waiting for someone or something, when one is bored and when one is feeling lonely or with unwanted company. Time also dilates while one is desperately searching for a restroom.

Q. What are the features of contracted and dilated time?

A. In contracted time one has more focus on what one is doing, one is less aware of the surroundings and one takes more time to reply to messages. In dilated time one is more easily distracted, one is very watchful of the surroundings and one is always updated about what time it is. Contracted time is measured in hours and dilated time is measured in minutes.

72. During The Break

(For more information on the people below, please click on the labels at the end)

The Batchmates

The boy from Party Politics and the girl from Social Media are standing at the glass window at the end of the second floor corridor, between the classrooms of Office Dynamics and Work-Life Balancing. The boy is holding a folded newspaper and explaining some news to the girl. The girl is showing a look of intent interest every time the guy is looking up at her.

The Daughter

The daughter is sitting in her classroom for Time Management on the second floor and talking to a girl of similar age. They both have a chart with the title “Invisible Time Records” in front of them and seem to be having a discussing about the topic. On the chart in front of the other girl the words “Total 4.5 hours” are written in red ink.

The Married Ones

The man and the woman are standing next to the water cooler at the canteen. The man is leaning against a wall with a light smile on his face. The woman is showing him something on her mobile. Her face is slightly red.

The Husband

The husband is standing in the corridor outside his Family Management classroom on the second floor and talking to his wife on phone. He has just suggested that he will take her out for dinner. But to his dismay, instead of being overjoyed his wife is now asking if this proposal was a kind of home assignment given in class.

The Office Guy

The colleague from the Office Dynamics course is in the library. He is issuing a book called, “Safety 101: How Not to Trust Anyone”.

71. Work, Life and Me-Time

Teacher’s introductory lecture at the first class of Work-Life Balancing Crash Course

“A warm welcome to all of you at the NILS! On behalf of the faculty of Work-Life Balancing course, I wish you a very engaging and productive three months ahead of you.

“I am sure most of you have faced serious difficulties in balancing Life and Work. In this course we will train you to overcome these difficulties.

“There is one common misconception about this issue that I want to do away with right in the beginning.”

(On the board)

 Work and Life can never be balanced.

“The best you can hope for is to have an equilibrium, where the excess of one can be compensated by an exaggeration of the other.

“It is like a pendulum. The only true balance exists at the midpoint but it happens as a passing phase. When the pendulum is truly balanced, it has stopped. And when your life is truly at balance, you have died.

“But we do not need to be so morbid. There are ways to live a less complicated life than what you are doing now and we will guide you towards that.

“There is one more thing I want to make clear in the beginning itself. Your Life is dedicated to people you live with and your Work is dedicated to your superiors and your office. Neither Life, nor Work has anything to do with your personal wishes or engagements.

“Your personal life comes under Me-Time and is beyond the scope of this course. But on successful completion of the Work-Life Balancing Course you will be eligible for a 20% discount for the Me-Time Management Crash Course at any NILS branch within one year.”