133. Very Messy

Class teaching (Family Management, Paper II – Newlyweds)

“The most common question from relatives after marriage is why you still have not multiplied. Why you still do not have kids.

"The reply to that question will vary from situation to situation and between sexes. I am going to teach you some template answers that you can apply depending on the situation.

"We will start with the situation where the girl is faced with this question. First thing you need to remember: whatever is your answer, stick to it. Repeat it fifteen times if required, but do not change your stance. Here are some answers."

(On the board)

You do not want to offend anybody: smile and keep smiling like a fool till they give up

You want to give hints that you do not like such personal questions: smile once and start fiddling with your phone without looking up for next five minutes

You don’t care what they think: “I don’t have time for all that.”

You believe in justice and humanity: tell them the truth, whatever it is

You want to be sweet and nice: just blush and keep blushing every time you are asked the question

You want people to be vaguely uncomfortable: shake your head and keep mumbling that the world has become a horrible place for children

You had a fight with your husband: answer all questions with ‘Ask him, no? How do I know?”

You want them to move on to the next married girl without a child: “Next year, aunty.”

You want them to give up forever: “I had a few pregnancies in school and in college. Very messy.”

“And if you are a guy, shake your head and indicate that you both are waiting for your foreign posting so your child can be born in the United States.”