From One For The Cabinet by
Samuel Duval (Suggested Reading, Party Politics, Paper I – Political Systems
and Parties)
The political parties can be divided into seven spatial categories based
on their ideologies.
The LEFT parties stand behind the have-nots and aim to form a mandatory brotherhood
by forcefully demolishing national boundaries, cultural traditions and
colourful buildings.
The RIGHT parties stand behind the have-pride-but-no-jobs and aim to
form associations of violent volunteers in various different magnitudes.
The CENTRE parties do not care for any of the above or pretty much
anything as long as people vote and industrialists donate.
The FRONT parties feel embarrassed by the past, neglect the present and
hope for a dreamlike future. Random unplanned oppression is usually explained
as The Greater Common Good.
The BEHIND parties feel it is their ultimate calling to reestablish a
long gone, half-forgotten and mostly mythical realm or kingdom instead of
whatever is present now.
The UP parties believe in the natural superiority of the born-rich and
claim that ruling is a job for the elite just as coal mining is a job for the
poor.
The DOWN parties are formed by the racially and economically downtrodden
people. They believe that one day a hero will come and deliver them from their misery.
And once the hero has drained the party funds to make his own fortune, they
wait for the next hero to come and deliver them from the same misery.
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